Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

A sentence that holds so many truths for all of us. Mine quite dismal, it makes me cringe even thinking about it, the way I was as a child and in some ways a little now as an adolescent. Everyone, my mother, teachers and friends, always put forth that one of my greatest strengths was that I was always friendly, compassionate, loving, pleasant, helpful, kind and the list goes on (that’s probably why I’m studying Public Relations).

What bullocks. What was one of my greatest strengths, turned out to be one of my greatest weaknesses. I recall an incident in 6th grade, where I was one of the only students to have done my English homework, being the nice person that I am I let the other students copy my homework so that they wouldn’t get in trouble. Low and behold someone lost my homework and I got to write line. Nice girls finish last I tell you.

As much as people had a liking for me, they were quick to use me as a doormat because I was such a ‘nice’ person. I pretty much became fed up with being the nice girl and decided to grow a backbone. Every now and then I let my ‘niceness’ shine through, but only just enough so that people would like me but not walk all over me.

Feelings follow behaviour

In my attempt to write this blog, I think it’s only fair that I give you guys some insight to my current frame of reference. So for the past two months or so in my Communications Science class we have been discussing gender studies, feminism and womenism. So naturally, my sphere of knowledge has widened and with that said my blog on ‘feelings follow behaviour’ has some feminism influence.

Before my time, in the late 1960’s to be exact, it was said that the bra as well as other inanimate objects became the fury of some feminist activists because it was seen as a sexist label. This feeling, of extreme dislike was strong, so they mobilized against it. As a result of this they burnt their bras. Viva liberation.

The above as most of us don’t was only a myth, they did however mobilize, but unfortunately there were no bras that were burnt, but it would have been a more interesting example of how feelings follow behaviour.

This is only one example that illustrates feelings follow behaviour. Nonetheless, we all can identify with the this be it, feelings of admiration that resulted in a kiss or feelings of anger that resulted in a fight or feelings of happiness that resulted in a happy dance.

It is better to practice a little than talk a lot

Almost every single one of us has that one acquaintance that’s all about talking the talk but never walks the walk. Always putting forward that they are ‘game’ for anything, which always leaves me quite jealous at times because I’m a bit of a scaredy-cat, but when it comes down to crunch time they back out which totally changes my perception of them…

I call them the fader’s or the flakers. I never understood their logic, why would someone go so far as to blow their own trumpet and tell everyone what they will do or are going to do. It is indeed better to practice a little than talk a lot because you run the risk of you being embarrassed because you did not do, what you said you would. Our behaviour ought to at all times be consistent with what we say; otherwise we would just be a series of shams.

People appreciate those individuals who do a little, because its real and not those who just talk and talk but never do anything. So the moral of the story is don’t promise what you can’t deliver it is much better to under promise and over deliver that to over promise and under deliver.

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

"Mirror, mirror upon the wall, Who is the fairest of them all?" it answered- "O Lady Queen, though fair ye be, Snow-White is fairer far to see - snow white and the seven dwarfs. As the story narrates the lady queen flipped out because she wanted to be the fairest of them all.

Since childhood it has been inculcated in us, by fairytales like Snow white and other schools of thought that I don’t want to be second, when I can be first. This I believe was the beginning of the social epidemic of lying to ourselves. It’s hard to face reality when it doesn’t look so great so why not make it colourful by lying to ourselves.

Lying to yourself is a poor idea and a waste of time. On the flip side of the coin we were taught that honesty is the best policy but why is it that we still lie to ourselves. I think that people who lie to themselves actually have some sought of a behavioural disorder or the have a serious case of denial; it isn’t just a river in Egypt.

Most people are not honest with themselves because of fears such as rejection and criticism. Those who lie to themselves disguise it as hope or optimism. In the present moment lying to yourself will appear to be the favourable option but somewhere down the line when threads start to unravel and things start to fall apart. The truth will prevail.

It is definitely a poor idea to lie to yourself, just be honest you are the only one who will lose out in the end.

Not all who wander are lost

I did some research on the topic before I attempted to write this blog entry. Not all who wander are lost? I found an interesting piece of information. Author, J.R.R. Tolkien used a comparable phrase in his book "The Fellowship of the Ring", the first book of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. "All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost". It means that everything is not what it appears to be.

It made me think that people who wonder and seem to be lost are just the undecided ones. They indeed aren't lost they just haven't found what they are looking for. On the contrary, who says they who do not wander are not lost, maybe they just settled for anything. Maybe they just seem lost and all over the place because they like to try out different things. Sometimes wandering is good for you it enables you to encounter things you might not have encountered in a non wandering scenario hence you grow and learn much more.

You know the saying ‘those who do not plan, plan to fail’ I don’t believe that’s true. I believe in destiny, whatever suppose to happen will happen, so any road will take you there, wandering or sticking to the straight and narrow.